Perfect Brownie – Perfect Batch Every Time

It has been suggested, probably because I downplay my homemaking skills, that I’m not a great cook. I beg to differ. I cook. I don’t flaunt my expertise, but I do cook. Especially, I cook brownies. I know brownies, and brownies know me.

I really do bake the most beautiful brownies in all of New Mexico. Everyone loves my brownies. You very well might wish for my secret recipe, but — so sorry — you can’t have it. The trash has been carried out, and the box with it. Yes, the recipe is on the back of the box. It’s a mix. And not just any mix will do. Okay, okay . . . any mix will do.  But the picture on the box must look luscious!

My Secret Directions: Dump the mix in a bowl, break an egg, add some oil, stir the batter with a fork and dump it into the Perfect Brownie Pan. Then I do the very secret thing that gives my brownies their panache. I place the divider in the pan — right in there with the batter — and cook up my famous brownies.  I usually undercook them a bit, so they’re gooey-nasty and yummy. The bottom of the Perfect Brownie pan pops off and becomes a cooling rack, the divider slips out, and the whole set is for speedy cleanup. And that explains why I am the professional brownie baker, and why my brownies are as beautiful as they are to-die-for delicious.

I only regret that my devious neighbor tricked me into revealing my secret weapon, the Perfect Brownie set. And now I find myself in a bake-off with an eight-year-old who thinks his brownies are as good as mine. Yeah, perfect brownies are easy, but at eight years old – where’s the panache?!